Monday, November 14, 2005

You


I just got off the phone with you. It's 12:30 am, and you have to be at work in less that 6 hours. I know a phone call in the middle of (your) night from me (when the middle of my night is still hours from now) is frustrating. But I had spent the last 2 hours typing the paper that I didn't want to write, about the book I didn't want to read, in the class I didn't want to take, when the program shut down and wiped my unsaved half-ass masterpiece to computer no-mans land. I sat in the hallway and cried, then I came back in here and retyped another one. Then I called you and cried. I knew that I had woke you up. But you could sense my frustration. You told me that you were sure it was wonderful, and reminded me that I may not want to write the paper or read the book or take the class, but I do want the degree, and that anything worth having doesn't come easy. You told me I should get some sleep, and things would be better in the morning. You told me you loved me and wished me sweet dreams.
There is nothing out of routine about this call. I sporadically freak out, and you, always calm and steadfast, pick up the messes I create.
However, I generally take these conversations for granted. Not tonight. As I was hanging up, I was overcome with the realization of just how right you are for me right now. I remember all those years I spent crying over break-ups, or shaking off bad first dates, sure that I would never find someone who just loved me. And, then you came along. You are nothing like the others. You are older, far more goofier, and if possible, a bigger dork than I. You hate to shop, you don't like my choices in music, or understand my obsession with animals, or expensive purses, but you love me. For who I am, for who I want to be, for my strengths, for my weakness. You support all my wild and zany thoughts, from going back to school, to the nose ring debacle, to adoption. You celebrate my half birthday. You buy me cokes in the morning, and pay my car payment the months I just can't swing it. You celebrate my talents, and refuse to accept my negativity. You love me. And. that. is. empowering.

3 comments:

Chris-el-da said...

awwww! this is so sweet tricia!

and wow! half birthday... when is mine? i am *so* going to start celebrating this....

nadine said...

that's so sweet tricia!! i didn't realize charlie didn't leave near by.

Holly said...

Okay, just gotta tell you - this is VERY good stuff. Well written, full of the true life emotion and i'm happy for you. To have that love and support is outstanding!!!! Congrats, happy holidays and cheers!!